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Blog
// Profile
| name:
rj manguera |
| alias:
bru, storm, july |
| birthdate:
071185 |
| course:
ab-masscomm |
| interests:
music, film,
literature, web design, internet, insanities |
| color:
nothing in
particular |
| hang-out:
library, net
cafe, AdDU foodcourt, dreamlands in the recesses of my withered mind and
soul |
| possessions:
my brain, books,
computer, and temporarily tamed heart |
| music:
alt, rock, celtic,
pop-jazz, lounge, indie, and rhythm and blues |
| words:
shit, buang,
peste, !@#$%^&*! |
| misery:
dysmennorhea and
sheer poverty |
| detriments:
occasional
antisocial, visually impaired, "bru", doesn't talk that much,
easily disheartened, paranoid, disorganized, "chicken",
procrastinator, constantly in tempest yadda yadda blah blah blah |
|
::
likes Storm of X-Men
very much ::
loves cloudy
and rainy days ::
paranoid :: web designer
wannabe ::
hindi
pa-girl ::
in love to nobody ::
matakaw sa cheese ::
ayaw
makipag-textmate ::
likes spoongebob squarepants and the gang ::
nationalistic
::
trip ang mga lalaking long-haired, sa
ngayon ::
inconsistent (notice the shifts in
language) ::
observes
people ::
moonworshipper ::
goes to church only on special occasions
:: always smiles in
pictures ::
wants to go back to high school ::
kuripot, magastos, kuripot,
magastos ::
music lover ::
karamihan sa mga crush ay may pangalang nagsisimula sa letrang "J" ::
once dreamed of becoming an astronomer ::
fascinated by Greek and Roman mythologies ::
thinks lawyers are decent and intelligent zombies ::
walang kikay kit ::
writer wannabe
:: listener ::
skeptic ::
moody ::
disorganized ::
fave LOTR character si Eowyn ::
dreams of circling the globe ::
dreams of wandering in the universe
:: abhors
infidelity ::
laughs at corny jokes (maawain lang
siguro) ::
lactose intolerant ::
hindi mahilig sa kape ::
hates air pollution ::
reads the newspaper only every Friday ::
not religious, only spiritual ::
loves reading books ::
commutes everyday ::
Freecell
addict ::
bobo sa math ::
attempted to take up engineering ::
thinks beyonce is a
goddess ::
tahimik ::
bruha :: internet
addict :: napagkakamalang
walang pakialam ::
loathes
heart evangelista ::
thinks
barbie almalbis is an angel disguised as a rock star ::
nearsighted but doesn't wear eyeglasses ::
experiences monthly dysmenorrhea ::
laging sumasakit ang tiyan ::
loves green mango ::
daydreamer ::
hindi masikmura ang makipagplastikan ::
wants to own
a camera phone (Samsung or Sony Ericsson) ::
matigas ang
ulo :: may
frequent depression attacks ::
may suicidal tendency ::
softball player sa hayskul ::
hindi
malambing ::
likes Buttercup of the PPG ::
umiyak nang
hindi nakapag-UPCAT ::
hopes she's
studying in UP right now ::
procrastinator ::
likes 70's
and 90's music ::
kayumanggi ::
"firewoman" ::
human/tao |
// Portals
// Tempest
|
And
indeed there will be time
For the
yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing
its back upon the window-panes;
There
will be time, there will be time
To
prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There
will be time to murder and create,
And
time for all the works and days of hands
That
lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time
for you and time for me,
And
time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for
a hundred visions and revisions,
Before
the taking of a toast and tea.
[
T.S. Eliot ] |
|
| .: lipat-bahay v.2 :. |
| 08.06.04 (12:01 am) [edit] |
|
finally, my new blog's layout is done. done. done. so, i'm outta here.
it's julystorm.blogspot.com
it's orange. i love orange! ooh yeah!
check it out. and don't forget to change my url in your links. okeedokee?
thanks! hasta la vista baby!
|
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|
| |
| .: lipat-bahay :. |
| 08.05.04 (12:22 am) [edit] |
|
i'll be moving out from tBlog to blogspot most probably this month. my new blog is already under construction. *abrakadabra*
nagsasawa na rin kasi ako dito...
hahummm...
|
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| |
| .: hoy bruha! pumasok ka sa klase! |
| 08.03.04 (11:52 pm) [edit] |
opo. andito ako sa skul pero hindi ako pumasok sa klase. actually, late ako kasi ang dami-dami ko pang seremonyas sa bahay. hapon pa ang klase ko. H A P O N pa pero late pa rin ako! kasi tinatamad ako. hay...loka talaga ako.
pumunta lang 'ata ako dito sa skul para mag-internet eh.
tinamaan na naman kasi ako ng topak. ganito talaga ako. ano naman kaya ang idadahilan ko kung magkita kami ng magagaling kong mga klasmeyts? [i]"late na kasi ako peeps"[/i]...o di kaya...[i]"sa kasi ng TV please stand by..."[/i] bahala na si catwoman.
ano ba kasi yung pinaggagagawa ko sa bahay?!?
purbida!!!
anywey haywey i hab a tut dikey, todo text ngayon si Laurence. hahahahahahaha! may load siya! H I M A L A! ... *ansama ko talaga*
todo basa ako ng "The Road Less Travelled" ni M. Scott Peck ngayon. sheeet! nakakakonsiyensya pero andami kong natututunan...which leads me to a "shallow" issue...
love is a choice and an activity, sabi ni Manong Scott Peck. it is effortful. it is a will to extend for the purpose of nurturing one's self or another's spiritual growth. love is not a feeling. love is separateness. at marami pang iba.
nalilito ako. shit! pinatatamaan yata ako ni Manong Peck eh. hindi ako guilty. parang pinagsasabihan lang niya akong [b]p i l i i n [/b]si Laurence kesa "Dear Paul" kong si Jeremiah.
[i]*may gf na po itong si Jeremiah pero cool off muna daw sila*[/i]
napanaginipan ko pa itong si "Dear Paul" kagabi. pinili daw niya ako kesa sa gf niya. ang saya naman ng LOKA!
e w a n.
|
|
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| |
| .: wants list :. |
| 07.29.04 (2:31 am) [edit] |
i am being materialistic here. duh. :roll:
[i]in random order:[/i]
:: Beyonce Knowles' [i]Dangerously In Love[/i] album
:: Eraserheads Anthology CD (The Best Of)
:: Black Eyed Peas CDs
:: new layout for this pathetic blog
:: pass MC 106 (Development Communication) and MC 127 (Laws on Mass Media)
:: new sneakers and sandals
:: Maksim's [i]The Pianist[/i] CD
:: books, books, and more books
:: new softwares for my PC
:: Spongebob Squarepants and Eowyn shirts
:: watch Barbie's Cradle, Rivermaya, and Bamboo play this Kadayawan Festival (i hope the organizers could read this)
:: Rivermaya's [i]Between the Stars and Waves[/i] CD
:: Bamboo's [i]As The Music Plays[/i] CD
:: Norah Jones CDs
:: sleep...sleep...sleep...
:: one hot Samsung or Sony Ericsson cellular phone
:: money to buy all these (except sleep and passing MC 106 and MC 127, of course)
whatever! :roll:
|
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| |
| .: back to "reality" :. |
| 07.27.04 (3:46 am) [edit] |
i just arrived from our class retreat.
bumaha ng luha. pagkarami-raming rolyo ng tissue ang naubos. nagkuwento ng mga masasaya at malulungkot na buhay. nakinig ng mga masasaya at malulungkot na buhay. natuto. nagdasal. tumawa. kumain. nagpektyur-pektyur. nagmuni-muni. hindi masyado natulog. at marami pang iba.
baka si jay magkuwento tungkol sa retreat namin. basahin niyo. umiyak din 'yan...tulad ko. hehe.
ang sarap hindi pumasok bukas. gusto kong matulog ng matulog. hay, lecheng thesis, exams, at papers. :evil: :cry:
|
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| |
| .: wala akong maisip na subject, basahin niyo na lang :. |
| 07.24.04 (11:28 pm) [edit] |
retreat na namin mamaya. mga dalawang araw din kaming magmumunimuni. sabi ni jay, we'll be there in silence and solitude. cguro. medyo. alam niyo naman, ang klase namin ay sobrang likot at ingay.
reflect reflect lang ng kung anong ipaipa-replek sa amin.
as of today, pitong araw nang hindi nagte-text ang kumag na laurance. kung hindi ka na interesado sa akin, okeypayn. sabihin mo lang para tapos na.
sana magkita ulit kami ni jeremiah.
let's turn into something relevant here.
nagstrike na ang union ng school namin. mabuti naman. :twisted: they started thursday night. para ngang "election" sa dami ng streamers ang gates namin. syempre protest streamers ang mga iyon. nung friday the student government organized a forum para daw maliwanagan ang mga estudyante at ilang mga guro sa pangyayari. nagspeech ang pari. syempre nagdepensa siya in behalf of the admin at atake laban sa unyon. convincing ang pinagsabi niya doon, puwera na lang siguro sa mga taong skeptic sa admin...tulad ko.
[i]"parang bakla si father noh?"[/i], sabi ni jenloy.
[i]"oo, mukha nga."[/i] sagot ko.
[i]"iba talaga na talaga ang SAMAHAN (the student gov't) ngayon ano? para silang pro-admin. hindi tulad nung si edgie uyanguren yung presidente, nung may marami pang aktibista..."[/i] komento ulit ni jenloy.
[i]ay sinabi mo pa! kritikal kasi sila, eh ngayon parang...ewan. 'di sila maramdaman. parang wala kang tagapagtanggol."[/i] sagot ko.
after nagspeech ang pari, nag-open forum. siyempre, pinutakti siya ng sandamakmak na tanong. sinali pa ang isyu ng ATENEWS. kung makikinig ka talaga, hindi niya masagot ng matino ang mga tanong.
example, nung tinanong siya kung saan na ang perang nakalaan para sa student paper (pwede nang pamahayan ni sadako ang kawawang opisina ng atenews at hindi na rin gumagana ang mga manunulat). ang taas-taas ng sagot niya, explaining kung anong nangyari sa atenews last year at kung anu-ano pang gusot na dinaanan ng student paper. pero hindi niya sinagot yung tanong.
kaya nilinaw ng titser na tagapagsalita ang tanong. kaya sinagot niya ulit. ayon, tumugma na siya pero hindi pa rin convincing.
marami pa sanang tanong kaya lang ubos na raw ang oras. ang sarap pa sanang putaktiin ang pari.
sana bigyan din ng student gov't na magpahayag ng kanilang panig ang unyon. pero hindi ako sigurado diyan dahil the people in the student gov't don't have the balls to do it. :x
yun lang. tapos. :!:
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| .: tinatawag na ako ng aking kama :. |
| 07.22.04 (2:41 am) [edit] |
[b]Mood:[/b]
[b]Music:[/b] *humming of the aircon*
gusto ko nang matulog. kahit na nakaapat na oras akong nakatulog kagabi, para pa rin yung trenta minutos.
matagal akong nakauwi kagabi kaya alas diyes ko na nasimulan ang term paper ko para sa Philo 106 (Philosophy of Religion). hindi naman siya mahirap talaga. nahirapan ako dahil inaantok na ako.
tapos, siningit ko na ring mag-hard code ng html tags para sa prelim project ko sa web design. kailangan ko talagang mag-hard code para matuto naman ako. ganyan talaga ang buhay, pinapahirapan ka. :?
natapos ko ang term paper mga ala-una y medya ng madaling araw. ayoko pa sanang matulog kasi may exam pa ako ng alas-nuwebe at hindi pa talaga ako nakapag-aral.
kaya, nang oras ng exam...ayun! ang dami-daming blanko. muntik na rin akong makatulog. mabuti na lang at to the rescue ang katabi ko...pinakopya ako. matanda na nga yung titser namin; hindi niya napansing harap-harapan nang nagkokopyahan ang klase. o talagang magaling lang kaming magkopyahan. :twisted:
nag-film showing lang kami sa Philo...
at, nag-exam sa Theology. pucha! ano ba yung lumabas sa exam? iilan lang ang na-discuss namin doon ah?!? ang taas-taas pa! ginawa pang PolSci/Social Work/Social Studies ang exam namin. far out! :shock:
finally, sumakit lalo ang ulo ko dahil pinagpatuloy namin ang paggawa ng munting website.
kailangan ko na namang mag-aral para sa Advertising bukas. :roll:
ang boring ko 'no?
eto na lang para masaya...ang crush ko sa kasalukuyan.
[b]Ira Cruz of Bamboo[/b]
|
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| |
| .: halo-halo wednesday special :. |
| 07.21.04 (4:36 am) [edit] |
[b]Mood:[/b]
[b]Music:[/b] *usapan ng mga katabi*
nakakainis! down ang website ng Bamboo. hindi tuloy ako makapag-download ng pictures ni Ira Cruz, ang crush ko ngayon. hindi kasi ako satisfied sa mga litrato ng ibang sites. :roll:
i'm supposed to be home [b]NOW[/b]. i have to make a term paper for philosophy, which would serve as my prelim exam. and, i haven't started yet. then, i still have to study for two subjects because we'll have our prelim exams tomorrow. development communication (i feel i'm going to fail this grading period) and theology (which makes me feel like in a social science class).
mag-iisip pa ako ng design para sa website ko, project namin sa Web Design class.
wala na itong tulugan. naku, hindi pa naman ako marunong magtimpla ng kape...dahil hindi po ako kape laber!
uuwi na ako. kailangan ko munang ayusin ang buhay ko. heheheh! :lol:
WARNING | | storm07 is radioactive. Wear protective clothing at all times. |
From Go-Quiz.com
| Your Icecream Flavour is...Neopolitan! |
 You aren't satisfied with just one flavor. They say variety is the spice of life and this shines through in your Ice cream of choice! Just don't eat all the chocolate and leave the strawberry and vanilla behind! |
What is your Icecream Flavour?
Find out at Go Quiz
|
You're
Simply!
You like the clothes that makes you be comfortable the whole
time. Very natural and fast, don't like a lot of things everywhere, you
feel very well with jeans and t-shirts!
What's
your Own Fashion Style?
|
| What Irrational Number Are You? | You are √2 You are in good company, many other square roots are also irrational numbers. Just by being a square root you have been branded a radical. You are considered very attractive, especially by Europeans (at least on paper.) You fear that a relationship with another √2 may somehow end up complex and ultimately imaginary. In reality, only another √2 will make you whole. Your lucky number is approximately 1.41421356 | |
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| .: isa na namang walang kwentang kakornihan sa buhay ko :. |
| 07.19.04 (4:20 am) [edit] |
[b]Mood:[/b]
[b]Music:[/b] [i]Dear Paul :: Barbie's Cradle[/i]
nakatanggap ako ng mensahe sa friendster account ko mula sa isang kaibigan sa hayskul. binalita niya na kasama niya ng super-crush ko sa grade school na si J. (huwag na nating banggitin ang pangalan para sa aking kaligtasan...nyahahahah! :lol: ) sa COMELEC ng unibersidad nila. nakausap pa raw niya ito at sinabing madalas ko raw siyang mabanggit noong hayskul. sagot naman ni J., kami daw ang pinakaclose sa aming magbarkada noong elementarya.
at nang basahin ko iyon, susmaryosep! nanlamig at nanginig po ako! hindi ko alam kung paano isalarawan sa pamamagitan ng salita aking nararamdaman. kahit ngayon nga, kinakabahan pa rin ako...hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala na sinabi niyang kami ang "pinakaclose". nyahahahah! :P
nagkandarapa tuloy ako sa pagsagot sa sulat ng kaibigan ko. ang bilis-bilis kong nakatipa ng keyboard. ang dami pang exclamation points. at hindi ko na naramdaman ang sakit ng katawan ko dahil sa kaka-basketball at kakasayaw kahapon. loka talaga ako. heheh :roll:
kasi po ganito po iyon... klasmeyt ko noong grade 5 at 6 itong si J. pero nung grade 5 pa kami, hindi ko siya kilala. naririning ko lang na tinatawag ang pangalan niya ng titser namin.
noong grade six, ayun! magkatabi kami sa may likuran. eh 'di syempre madalas kaming magkausap at lahat. parati ko pa siyang inaaway. inalipusta ko pa [b]kuno[/b] ang mga drawing niya kahit na maganda. antagonist po ako sa buhay niya.
alam niyo naman, bata. basta alam niyo ba 'yong feeling na may grade school crush ka at ang mga kakornihang involved dun? 'yun! pero hindi ko inamin na crush ko nga siya kasi feeling ko, kuya ko lang siya. wala po kasi akong kuya at nang mga panahong iyon, gustung-gusto kong magkaroon ng kuya. tapos, palagay ang loob ko sa kanya.
nang grumadweyt kami, hindi ko siya nakausap. hindi ko man lang siya na-congratulate. pero nung hayskul na kami, nagkita kaming magbarkada twice lang sa apat na taon. tapos ayun, pinagkalat ko sa mga barkadits ko sa hayskul ang "lovelife" ko nung elementarya. kahit na ang dami-dami kong crush nung hayskul, i would always end up hoping he's around. ang corny ko na 'no?
tapos ngayong college, nagkita lang kami ng dalawa o tatlong beses noong mga panahong pumupunta pa ako sa alma mater ko (na eskwelahan niya ngayon).
grabe, akalain ba ninyong may kanta pa ako sa kanya? ganyan po ako kakorni. at ito po iyon:
[b]DEAR PAUL[/b]
Barbie's Cradle
[i]Dear Paul, oh my old friend
I always liked you but you always liked to go
I loved you from the classroom window
But you were busy making girls like me miserable
Chasing the high school girls
Dear Paul, i was changed
My very first addiction was named after you
Aand i stared and i shed some tears
Then started writing songs to comfort me while i wait
But like some things you never came
Don't you know eleven years is a long time
To freeze a heart eleven years is long enough
To make a girl insane
Dear Paul would you stay far
And be the bicycle i never had
And i've tried different kinds of ice cream
And some made my throat sore
But you were only bliss
So i'll visit you in dream
Coz you know eleven years is a long time
To freeze a heart eleven years is long enough
To make a girl insane
You make a girl insane Paul
You make a girl insane[/i]
syempre, hindi Paul ang pangalan niya at hindi po labing-isang taon ko siyang crush...mga roughly 9 years pa lang...nyahahahahah! :lol:
'yun lang. kailangan ko pang mag-isip para sa thesis ko dahil wala na talaga akong kinabukasan kong hindi ako gagalaw [b]ngayon[/b]. heheheheh! :P
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| .: mag-rally na kung magra-rally! :. |
| 07.14.04 (4:59 am) [edit] |
katatapos lang ng klase ko na laws on mass media. akala ko mago-oral recitation lang kami sa isa sa mga kasong binigay ni atty. tan sa amin. 'yun pala, nagquiz kami kung ano daw iyong doctrine of fair comment. sus, mabuti na lang at binasa ko ang definition kaninang umaga kundi bagsak ako sa quiz.
mabuti na rin at hindi kami nag-oral recitation kasi hindi ko masyandong maintindihan yung isang kaso. nakipagchikahan lang kasi ako kay paolo, klasmeyt ko, tungkol sa kanyang lovelife at sa musika. iyong iba kong klasmeyts, seryosong-seryoso sa pagdi-discuss sa mga kaso (anti-wire tapping cases) habang ako'y siyang-siya sa pakikipag-usap sa super daldal na si paolo.
mabuti na lang talaga at walang recitation kundi patay na ako...heheh!
may binigay na quote si ma'am sa amin:
[b][i]"I disapprove of what you say but I will defend to the death your right to say it." --- Voltaire[/i][/b]
weee! right to free speech and expression! weee! :P
kung problema ngayon ng bansa ang tangkang pagpugot kay ginoong angelo dela cruz, may kanyang tae rin ang eskwelahan namin. may pending strike. hindi namin alam kung bukas magsisimula o kung kailan, basta go na go na ang mga union members na magstrike.
siyempre mas gugustuhin kong hindi pumasok kaya lang may quiz kami bukas. sabi rin ng administration, business as usual...may klase. tapos, sabi ni ardee, class president namin, na may [b]2[/b] :!: bus daw na magsasakay sa mga estudyanteng papasok sa may royal mandaya hotel at hahatid sa kanila sa eskwelahan. ano? dalawa, as in two? marunong ba sila ng ratio? okey lang sa kanila ang 2:8,000? :roll:
hay naku, dalawang taon na iyang isyu ng union at admin sa addu. noong 2002, deadlock sila sa collective bargaining agreement. akala nga namin magsta-strike na. tapos ngayon, tuloy na nga. hay naku, sana matuloy na nga ano?!? ano lang ba iyang hinihingi ng mga union members na benefits, privileges, at iba pang chuva ek sa milyun-milyong kinikita ng ateneo? they deserve what they are asking for.
hindi ko lubos maisip kung bakit ang tigas-tigas ng admin sa hinihingi ng union members. mga kristiyano pa naman daw sila. men and women for others. ignatian values. asus! :?
tapos, asan na ngayon ang magaling na presidente na si fr. martinez? out of town daw. takot siguro. or ayaw lang talagang harapin ang responsibilidad.
magrally na kung magra-rally. karapatan nila iyon.
at nakikisimpatiya po ako. :cry:
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| .: Crystal Balls and Afro Hairdos: MTV Pilipinas Sidelights and Wisecracks :. |
| 07.13.04 (4:36 am) [edit] |
[i]malupit ang article na 'to, pramis...kasing lupit ng nakaraang MTV Pilipinas Awards. idol ko nga ang writer nito. heheh! [/i]
[b]Crystal Balls and Afro Hairdos: MTV Pilipinas Sidelights and Wisecracks[/b]
AUDIOSYNCRASY By Igan D’Bayan
The Philippine STAR 07/09/2004
No way was I sitting next to Guy Sebastian. When I was shown my seat at the recent MTV Pilipinas Awards, the chair beside it had the words "GUY SEBASTIAN" taped to it. That was scary. I have nothing against the Australian idol with big hair and a daffy song about angels, but I preferred a more anonymous spot at the former ULTRA, the site of the 4th MTV Pilipinas Awards. I didn’t want to explain to Guy the logic (or illogic) behind Favorite Female Artist Jolina Magdangal’s fashion sense. How do you explain an enigma like Jolina? More unfortunate was the guy behind Guy. How was he able to manage to see the stage despite the singer’s big black cotton-candy hairdo?
Anyway, lots of must-see things at MTV Pilipinas – considering what an audio-visual feast MTV gigs always are. Also, this year, the show was more fast-paced and entertaining compared to the ones in the past. Allow me to blabber.
The theme for this year’s award show was mysticism. Thus, the stage was littered with candles, crystal balls and other dazzlers. The winners’ names were written on paper lodged inside fortune cookies. There was a David Blaine spoof. Each element foretelling, divining a good time to be had by all – especially those who walked away with an MTV Pilipinas trophy.
Gary V. sang and performed with the Manoeuvres for the seven millionth time. Shout for Joy. Whoopee… What attracted me more was the interaction between the Makiling Ensemble and the Manila Philharmonic Orchestra. Nice interplay and arrangement of an old tune. Bamboo won the Favorite New Artist award, while Maroon 5 was deemed Favorite International Act. Irish pop trio Bellefire performed a cute acoustic ditty. How do I describe their music? Younger, perkier Corrs. The audience, especially the guys in the mosh pit, loved ‘em.
A South Border video was nominated. The video shows the band members smiling in the snow. Strangely, the title of the song is Rainbow. Singing a song about a rainbow in the snow is so silly, according to my girlfriend Becca. Sort of like playing reggae while stranded in the Siberian tundra.
Goth rock purveyors The Late Isabel won Best Indie Video for Doll’s Head. Lead singer Wawi Navarozza was in a funky Cleopatra outfit. In the group’s acceptance speech, guitarist and fellow writer Allan Hernandez thanked every indie band in existence. Nah, Hernandez and the rest of The Late Isabel deserve props for showing uncompromising love for outsider music. Musicians like my friend Allan still pursue those strange and beautiful muses while the rest of us take on conformist jobs. And oh yeah… Long live those who dress up like the dead!
The Viva Hot Babes won for Best Dance Sequence. Andrea Del Rosario and Sheree showed up (yeah, showed) in revealing outfits – almost identical bold-star blouses strategically slashed in the middle, to be more precise. Long live duct tape!
Also nominated was P-4 with the annoyingly catchy Hoochie-Coochie. The Powerboys story embodies the ugly side of the music industry: Dance around wearing only a towel in an anti-BO commercial, dabble into showbiz, record an album, dance like the Backstreet Boys and gently fade into obscurity.
Favorite Male Artist Jay-R danced with the whole basketball team. He won for the song Bakit Pa Ba? The Black Eyed Peas won Favorite International Video for Where is the Love? Nina performed with The Whiplash, singing a medley of tracks from Favorite Female Artist nominees including, uh, Nina. There were twirls, lifting and other interpretative dance basics going on while Nina was singing. I half-expected Alma Moreno in tights to pirouette onto the stage.
Best Use of Open Space award went to – no, not that twilight zone between Eddie Gil’s eyebrows and his hairpiece – but to Paolo Santos’ video for Mapansin.
Chito Miranda of Parokya ni Edgar was really funny as presenter, something that cannot be said about the others. (Their jokes were so lame they needed bone surgery). Jolina Magdangal, who attended the awards in a vomit-green dress, won an award. Somewhere in her house, a window is missing a curtain.
The Falsest Falsetto award went to Akafellas for Bongga Ka Day. No, no, the award is not in honor of the Bee Gees or other artists who suffered horrible groin injuries. Bert De Leon and Diana Zubiri presented the award for Best Director. Zubiri called De Leon a "clow-set racker." Hey, she’s Diana Zubiri. She can do whatever she wants. She has the power to stop traffic in flyovers.
Favorite Group Award went to Bamboo, one of the band’s three awards. As a tribute to the Eraserheads, one of the most influential bands of our generation, MTV got together trendy acoustic musicians Paolo Santos, Jimmy Bondoc and Nyoy Volante together with Barbie’s Cradle for a romp through the Eraserheads discography.
Santos was able to pull off Ligaya. Nyoy was passable with Magasin. Bondoc, no matter if he performed something as brilliant as an Eraserhead composition, was still nasally annoying. Barbie and her band (bassist Rommel de la Cruz, drummer Wendell Garcia and guest guitarist Kakoi Legaspi) were of course exceptional.
Two Idols Guy Sebastian, my supposed-to-be seatmate, and Sarah Geronimo did a duet. Voice box histrionics and cloying lyrics from both. Somewhere, you could hear wineglasses breaking and patience wearing thin.
Gloc 9’s Sayang won the Best Video award. This begged the question, "Who the hell is Gloc 9?" (Hey, I like Rivermaya’s A Love To Share, directed by Quark Henares, with its spacey, moody appeal.) Before that, presenter Aubrey Miles asked the crowd if they wanted her to take off her clothes. What is it about music awards and that boldstar bit about undressing? Too bad since Aubrey, judging from how well she spoke her lines, sounded like a really smart girl. Bamboo closed the show with the hit Noypi. The band jammed with the Manila Philharmonic Orchestra and the Makiling Ensemble, which aptly provided hegalong and kulintang strains to the nationalistic rock tune. (Bamboo Mañalac’s "No control!" rap reminded me of Rage Against the Machine, though.)
For me the best bit of the evening was the segment Dan Michael: Master Musician. Ramon Bautista (one of the funny dudes from the sorely missed Strange Brew TV show on UNTV) spoofed the famously brooding, always-in-black, street magician David Blaine. It was hilarious to see Bautista flub every Blaine card trick in the book. That guy is really funny. I just wish MTV would give Bautista a show of his own, since nothing’s funny on TV anymore.
Especially unfunny is sitting behind a guy with hair as tall as the Tower of Babel.
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| .: ganito na pala ako ngayon?!? :. |
| 07.13.04 (3:19 am) [edit] |
ano bang nangyayari sa akin...halos araw-araw na lang akong nagi-internet. naghahanap kasi ako ng lyrics ng mga kanta ng smashing pumpkins. tapos, may hinala na akong medyo sira ang diskette ko pero ginamit ko pa rin. nag-iisip talaga ako noh? kaya hindi ko ma-save2x dahil yun nga, sira ang diskette...pinipilit ko pa. ang gaga ko talaga. :roll:
oo nga pala, binigyan ako ni jenloy ng chocolates at keychain ('di naman talaga keychain, mukha lang na keychain...basta aksesorya sa bag) na spongebob. weeeeeeee! ang saya-saya ko! :D [i]spongebob...spongebob[/i] tinanong ako ni tracy kung bakit gusto ko si spongebob. sabi ko, may topak kasi siya. kahit na stupid siya masyado (pati na rin mga kasama niya), nasisiyahan pa rin ako sa kanya. tawag na nga niya sa akin ay [i]Spongey[/i]. hehehe! :lol:
kaninang umaga, gustung-gusto kong umiyak. [b]una,[/b]alam niyo po kasi, nagfe-feeling affected po ako sa kasalukuyang pambansang tae...ang bantang pagpugot kay ginoong angelo dela cruz kung hindi aalisin/pauuwiin ang humanitarian contingent ng pilipinas.
nag-rally/picket na ang mga cause-oriented and religious groups. at siyempre, may vigil pa iyan. naaawa na rin ako sa pamilya ni mang angelo. sabi daw, lumipad na ang asawa at kapatid nito. gulung-gulo na rin pati kababayan nito sa pampanga.
naiinis ako kasi gusto kong pauwiin na ang lahat ng pinadala doon. simula pa lang, ayoko na talaga 'yang sinasabi ng pangulo na humanitarian ek-ek sa iraq. pero kailangan daw iyan dahil kahit papaano, responsibilidad daw iyon ng pilipinas bilang kasapi ng united nations...ano ngang tawag dun?
pucha, bakit pa kasi todo ang suporta ng pangulo diyan sa walang kuwentang giyera ng estados unidos sa iraq. may nakita na ba silang pruwebang magpapatunay na may weapons of mass destruction ang iraq? hanggang ngayon, tuta pa rin ang bansang ito sa amerika. ang bansa nga ba o ang pangulo?
ano na kaya ang iniisip ng pangulo ngayon? tumawag kaya siya kay george w. bush at huminga na tulong? 'tangina, lagi na lang! :evil:
basta, ayun...naiiyak ako. [b]pangalawa,[/b]...excuse me po pero ito'y isang kababawan...ilang araw nang hindi nagte-text sa akin sa laurence. sus, as if big deal. hindi ko matukoy kung big deal sa akin na magtext siya o hindi basta ang gusto ko kasi mangumusta man lang siya...kahit isang text lang sa isang araw, solve na ako.
ganito kasi...teka, kailangan ko bang ipagkalat 'to?...pucha, ang babaw ko na...ang jologs ko. :roll:
hindi ko alam kung interesado pa siya akin o hindi. wala naman akong karapatang magdemand sa kanya. sino lang ba ako? atsaka, nag-expect din akong babatiin niya ako ng maligayang kaarawan...ang babaw ko na talaga! argh!
ganito kasi, [b]ayokong magkagusto sa iba nang alam kong mayroon akong dapat paglaanan ng damdaming iyon.[/b]
mayroon kasi akong "ugali" na kapag "napabayaan" o hindi napagtuunan ng pansin, nawawalan na ako ng gana at napapalayo na. kaya, medyo wala akong maramdaman para sa kanya kahit magda-dalawang buwan na siyang nanliligaw.
siguro it's a matter of choice kung bubuksan ko ang hypothalamus ko para kay laurence o hahayaan ko na ang sariling magkagusto sa iba.
susmaryosep, ang babaw ko na talaga. :shock:
tapos, pagdating ko sa eskwelahan parang okey na ang pakiramdam ko. pa-smile smile na ang loka. napansin 'yon ng ilan sa mga klasmeyts ko. sabi ko, depressed kasi ako ngayon kaya patawa-tawa at pasmile-smile na lang...mas nakaka-depress kasi kung sisimangot pa ako. :wink:
susmaryosep, ang babaw ko na talaga. :shock:
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| .: gutom lang siguro ako :. |
| 07.10.04 (12:54 am) [edit] |
masakit ang katawan ko ngayon. bakit? dahil kaninang umaga ay naglaba po ako ng sangkatutak na mga basahan...este, damit. umalis si momsie kasama si popsie, pati na rin ang kapatid kong babae (na syang inaasahan sa paglalaba) kaya ako ang mag-isang nakipag-wrestling sa labada.
dahil nga masakit ang mga kasu-kasuan ko, late na akong pumunta sa eskwelahan para makipagkita kay jenloy, ang thesis partner ko. pagdating ko sa library, ayun, ang dami kong klasmeyts! seryoso(?) na talaga sa thesis.
hindi naman talaga kami naging productive ng partner ko kasi pareho kaming inaantok. humiram na lang kami ng mga libro.
oo nga pala, birthday ko bukas. sana maging maligaya ako.
naalala ko tuloy...nakatanggap ako ng isang regalo galing kay...eh, hindi ko alam kung sino, hindi ko tinanong kay momsie...basta yun. hindi ko alam kung anong tawag dun...tanktop? basta sleeveless sya na fitting-fittingan. sabi tanktop (?): penshoppe, my stuff, my stop. okey fine.
sinukat ko (at syempre, kasama na doon ang pagpo-project sa harap ng salamin), tama lang siya sa katawan ko. hapit na hapit sa katawan kaya obvious tuloy na maliit ang boobs ko. :roll:
gusto kong mamasyal bukas. okey lang kahit mag-isa ako. feel ko kasing maging loner bukas. heheh. :P wala lang, strolling sa SM. sana bigyan ako ng pera ni popsie para naman hindi ako humantong sa pagwi-window shop lang. gusto kong bumili ng t-shirt, CD, libro, sapatos o di kaya'y pantalon. ang dami-dami kong gustong bilhin, wala naman akong pera. poor lang po kasi ako. peste talaga 'yang pagtaas ng pamasahe. :evil:
gusto ko na ring palitan ang layout ko. matagal-tagal na rin ang layout na 'to. minsan nagsasawa na rin ako dito sa tBlog, parang gusto ko nang lumipat sa blogspot. tutal, may account na ako doon, matagal na. pero sa ngayon, dito muna ako. babaguhin ko na lang ang layout. :P
nagugutom ako... :shock:
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| .: on tee shirts, thoughtfulness, and one techie phone :. |
| 07.04.04 (5:30 pm) [edit] |
[b]while reading Young Star,[/b] Philippine Star's Friday Lifestyle Section, i stumbled upon one writer's article featuring a brand of tee shirts, Analogsoul. i really liked the shirts' prints and designs, very simple yet they express one's personality. however, the clothing line is for men.
one of its owners and the brand's designer Paolo Lim said that it is for the man who's into media, art, culture, music, the beach. their designs are "interesting but simple" and "hip without being overboard". i would say that there is funk in their designs that's why i got attracted to it. i thought, "i hope they have a female line and they'll branch out here in davao".
and guess what? this september, Analogsoul will release their female line that is as stylish and chic. but i guess it will only be available in Manila. soon, soon.
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[b]i really like tee shirts,[/b] shirts that shout messages and display funky designs. plus, t-shirts never run out of style or fashion trend.
i get annoyed when my friend jonna would tell me not to wear t-shirts anymore, but instead wear blouses because we're not young anymore. she wants me to practice or start wearing something "formal" because maybe in the near future, blouses will be needed in my profession like being a journalist. she also wants me to wear sandals instead of sneakers. but i always tell her i'm comfortable when i wear shirts and sneakers.
okay, i get her point. but that's just not my "fashion statement" (if ever i have one). i'm really not into this "pa-girl" thing. i admit i have worn body-hugging clothes and girly sandals, but i get uncomfortable whenever i wear them. moreover, i don't think i look good in them. i can't carry myself well with those clothes on me.
so, i'm into shirts.
of course, i won't dismiss the idea that sooner or later i'll be buying (whether forced or not) dainty or simple blouses. but as of now, i'm in love with tee shirts.
i really, really like angel rivero's (erning of strangebrew) tee she wore in studio 23's breakfast. it was an orange shirt with white lining (i don't know how you would call it) on the sleeves and neckline and astroboy as the front design. ohboyohboy, i wanna have one like that.
'nuff said.
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[b]2:27 a.m. of july 4[/b]i was awakened by the major discomfort that was humidity. i checked my phone anticipating someone texted me after i have dozed off...and then, my phone displayed "1 message received". i think i know who it was.
and yes, it was laurence. the message went something like this:
[i]naglugitom sa kangitngit ning akong kasing2x, apan sa dihang nakaplagan ko ikaw, naingo'g langit sa kahayag ang nahulip sa kangitngit...take care,ok.LAURENCE[/i]
of course, i didn't understand it at first. my brain cells weren't functioning well at that time, but i thought how nice of him. and then i went back to sleep.
it was in the morning that i tried to figure out what he said and i think i understand it despite of the language. i think it was something like "you light up my life" kind of thing. mushy.
yes it was. but well, it's the thought that matters. i hope he meant it, really meant it. i admit that i was touched but the feeling vanished as fast as it occured. i don't know why i couldn't stand mushiness. of course, i couldn't tell him straight that it was corny or something, he might get turned off or mad at me. i wouldn't like to hurt his feelings. [i]mahigit isang buwan na rin nya akong pinagtitiyagaan at hinihintay. ang sama ko naman kung hindi ko naa-appreciate 'yung ginagawa niya.[/i]
very thoughtful of him, anyway.
::
*salivates* o_O
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| .: 11 days :. |
| 06.30.04 (3:47 am) [edit] |
eleven days to go and it'll be my birthday...advance happy (i hope) birthday to me! :lol:
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| .: Carmen Guerrero Nakpil's whatevers :. |
| 06.29.04 (5:34 pm) [edit] |
[i]here are some of Carmen Guerrero Nakpil's essays from her book "Whatever: A New Collection of Later Essays, 1987-2001". talk about me being nationalistic. *sigh*[/i]
[b]OVERCOMING PREJUDICE[/b]
If the peace effort in Mindanao is to succeed, we must learn to overcome prejudice. For the majority of Filipinos, this means getting rid of the anti-Moro stereotypes on which we were raised, the burden we carry on our backs, which we drag along with us, making it difficult for us to tackle the Moro problem.
It's an old burden for, as Rizal noted, even our vices are not our own but those of our masters. We inherited our prejudice against Moros from Spain. The Spaniards were conquered and governed for 800 years by the Arabs whom they called Saracens or Moors. They threw off that yoke (La reconquista) in the fifteenth century, became explorers, sailed halfway around the world, came to the Filipinas where, to their chagrin, they were confronted by an old enemy: the Muslims of Mindanao. That's why we call them Moros, which is Spanish word.
Spanish prejudice is still extant in Barcelona, according to a book I'm reading in which the author tells the story of an old Catalan whom he asked during an interview whether he socialized with the summer visitors, Spaniards from southern Spain. His answer: "Of course not, they're all Moors."
Local prejudice is much more pervasive: inheritors often outdo their forebears.
The young woman who does my nails, Visayan, mother of two, resident in Pasay (the counterpart of the male columnist's barber), told me apropos the headlines that in her view, "Moros are treacherous." She added by way of elaborating, "They ambush our soldiers, they raid the towns and slaughter the neighbors.'
I replied, "That's not being treacherous. When you're a guerilla in a holy war, that's what you do."
"They sell us all these fake things from their barter trade," she continued.
"Isn't that what businessmen do to increase their profits? As a buyer you should beware." She was silent but was probably unconvinced.
One of my phone pals, a friend from Quezon, said the other day, "I don't know about that SPC-whatever. Those Moros used to raid the coastline of our province of Tayabas and take slaves." Hundreds of years ago, I remonstrated. He went on: "Remember that phrase we used when we were children, 'Hay Moros en la costa (There are Moros in the coast)' o warn of an unfriendly presence? Well, how did it become an idiom? There must have been lots of reasons for it."
Only last Saturday, a Muslim scholar who does not wear a fez or a moustache came and told me, with much amusement, that a taxi driver asked him where he was from (the standard greeting) and when told he was a Muslim from Mindanao, exclaimed in astonishment: "What? You look like a Filipino!"
One more example: A woman friend said the other day, during her usual lament about drivers: "My present driver is a Muslim. But I wonder why he has put an image of Our Lady of Perpetual Help on the dashboard. I don't dare ask him." He's probably catering to your non-Christian prejudices, I told her.
I check myself regularly for signs of anti-Moro bigotry. I watched Governor Misuari on TV the other evening and reacted well to his TV persona. He had a steady, unblinking gaze, as he fixed the camera with those big, black irises, a look suggesting appropriation, so strong that when he smiled (probably oftener than any other time in his life) the smile did not reach his eyes. Misuari speaks slowly, a rather stilted type of professional English, using words like "overture" and "Madame" and he does strike you as being reasonable and selfless.
But many of us need help in overcoming the clichés of prejudice. Despite the tours to Mindanao and the readings of Moro politics, the old images of kris-wielding juramentados, the fez on hairy heads are hard to erase. Maybe Misuari can leave off the gold-braided fez and facial hair, just as Mrs. Rasul she shed veil in the Senate, putting it on only for visiting coreligionist luminaries like Misuari. We need all the help we can get.
8 September 1996
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[b]SKIN WHITENING[/b]
Western and westernized women like to toss around the following statement as a capsule of their ideals. "My dear," they say archly, as if imparting on of God's truths, "you can't be too rich or too thin."
Filipinas and other Asia/Pacific women have a simpler, more direct slogan. Seldom verbalized, but constantly in mind, it is "The whiter the better," accompanied by longing looks at the alabaster complexions of Caucasian models and film stars.
The mountain of print ads and radio-TV commercials, the supermarket and drugstore shelves crowded with endless rows of lotions, creams, and other potions shamelessly promising "a rosy-white skin in a week," carry this status ploy within sight and hearing of everyone.
It's far from new, of course. The feminine custom of whitening Asian skin with cosmetic aids of every kind has been with u for centuries. Generations of Filipino women have been raised with the yearning for Caucasian-white skin. They have blanched and bleached with the use of native limes (kalamansi) or pumice and by stoically staying away from the sun's rays, shielding their faces with parasols and fans to attain the pale, chalky skin that is admittedly the most beautiful.
But there's been a new onslaught from foreign firms, from Pond's and Nivea to Estée Lauder and Lancome, eager to enter the Asian market now pumped up with prosperity and modernization. Skin doctors also want part of the business and provide defoliation, peeling, and buffing. The excuses are beauty and esthetics, but the real reason is hidden in the subconscious. The standards of beauty were set long ago by colonialism.
The long colonial experience under Spain and America, or the Portuguese, Dutch, and British, left a terrible burden of social insecurity. Racial prejudice, social insults, and legal discrimination based on the color of the skin did their work too well on the Asian peoples who came under Western domination, most of all on their women.
Nubile girls with fair skin have, for centuries, had much better chance than the darklings of ensnaring a white, and therefore rich and important official, or a scion of the native mestizo class, who would make life easier for their clan. Privileged lives hinging on the clear, Caucasian skin of an ancestress who had married into the ruling class, have penetrated the racial memory and left an imprint of social inferiority on the dark-skinned.
So much so that even today, in these supposedly enlightened times, career girls with pretensions of political correctness, as well as innocent peasant girls, continue to make an unnaturally white complexion their goal.
It does little good to invoke, as writers and counselors do, nostrums like "Brown is beautiful," and that more pigmentation in the skin protects it's owner from skin cancer and other evils, or that Caucasians actually admire and treasure a tan so that they take expensive vacations to be able to lie under the sun, or at the very least, a sun lamp, in order to attain it.
Ineffective are much-repeated speeches from diplomats and bureaucrats with the inspirational anecdote about God as pastry chef, who overbaked the first batch of people he made and produces the black Africans, then underbaked the second batch and made the Caucasians, hit it right only on the third try, when he came up with the right recipe and the golden skin of the South Asians.
I'm not trying to ruin the skin-whitening industry. Bleach and sunblock if you like. But, for goodness sake, know where it comes from.
It comes from deep wounds in the national soul caused by hundreds of years of prejudice, discrimination, and rejection by reason of skin pigmentation. It mounts to a denial of self and is one of the most absurd effects of colonization.
2 June 2000
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[b]FIRST REPUBLIC NEVER HAD A CHANCE[/b]
Maybe it's just as well that government and media appear disposed to give short shrift to the memory of the First Philippine Republic and are ready to close the centennial shop.
What happened after the euphoria of the Republic's inauguration at Malolos on 23 January 1899 was a series of calamities too painful to remember. Only Rizal, who feared a bloodbath, and Mabini, who distrusted the Americans, had the instinct to foresee disaster.
Two weeks after the malolos inaugural, there came, in quick and terrible succession, the carefully plotted first battle with the US, annexation by America in the guise of McKinley's "benevolent assimilation" and then the gallant but hopeless war with a nascent superpower with unlimited funds, gunships, war materiel, and the political cunning learned from the exterminating American Indians, Mexicans, Cubans, and Hawaiians.
The First Republic never had a chance. There was no way it could have escaped dominion by any of the following powers, the US, England, France, Germany, and Japan who all had warships and warplanes in May 1898, ready to pounce on the hapless archipelago at the crossing of the sea lanes to the Asian mainland.
The US, newly wealthy, had made up its mind about its "Manifest Destiny" in the Pacific. England, industrialized and commercialized, ruled the waves but depended on foreign trade on food and supplies. Together they faced the ambitions of France and Russia, who were interested in territorial possessions in the Far East. Japan, newly admitted into the rich nations' club and on high after its victory in the Sino-Japanese War of 1894-1895 had caught the colonizing bug, too. Germany under the Kaiser was "a hungry lion bursting into the Pacific looking for prey," in the words of historian Hermogenes Bacareza.
The German Foreign Office had three secret plans, annotated by Emperor William II himself, about the Philippines: (1) to make it monarchy under a German king; (2) to partition it among world sea powers; and (3) to neutralize the Philippine Republic under the joint guarantee and protection of the world sea powers.
A certain complication, in a comment by the German Foreign Minister Von Bulow, was that "to subject the Tagalogs against their will to such a foreign rule would probably be no easy task." But that the Amricans had yet to find out.
Von Bulow also wrote that he was "convinced that only a great sea power aided by another sea power would keep the Philippines." All plans were thwarted, in any case, when Dewey fired a shot across the bow of the German ship Kormoran that approached land on the pretext of visiting the Spanish governor and the following exchange took place. Dewey: "Do you want war with us?" German officer: "Certainly not!" Dewey: "Well it looks like it, Sir, and you are near it. You can have it, Sir, as you wish."
Following that withdrawal, the Germans bought from Spain the Caroline Islands, Palau, and the Marianas for use as naval and coaling stations but decided the Philippines was not worth "the hostility of the US and the opposition of England."
As for Japan, still insecure over its newly found power and anxious "to play the game according to Western-style model states," it felt that "crusades and causes were anathema" and remained "studiously correct" and uninvolved. It had just annexed Taiwan and was anxious to proceed with its development.
Today, Filipinos continue to discuss at dinner tables and coffee shops the what-ifs of the Philippine destiny. One lawyer told me last night that he would have chosen the British because "We would have a good civil service, like India." Like some of the ilustrados at Malolos, I would have opted for Germany: With German discipline there would be no garbage problem in Metro Manila. No one I know even mentions the possibility that the First Republic would have remained free, independent, And unhampered by foreign powers. It was just not in the stars. But constellations may have changed. Do we have a chance now?
3 February 1998
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| .: so, what if i don't have a subject? :. |
| 06.22.04 (3:12 am) [edit] |
lemme recall...
i wasn't excited with the idea that i have to go to school today. it's still the sixth day of classes and i feel tired already. but you know, i have to.
since today is T sched (TTh classes), it is a teachers-with-funky-accen ts day, especially my philosophy and theology teachers. my philosophy teacher, when trying to organize his thoughts, utters "aaeeeeeh" instead of "am" or "uh". he has a voice of an "ipis na naipit", which he jokingly says to be "hypnotic". ehe.
also, he says he is not a performer (public speaking gives him anxiety). i said, he isn't a "performer" then why does he always do the cha-cha while lecturing? we had a good laugh in his class today, though.
then, my theology teacher has this somewhat ernie baron accent. he pronounces "-tion" as "shin" or somethin' like that. rehabilita-shin, associa-shin, popula-shin, etc. my classmate told me his theme song's "ignition (remix)". [i]this is a remix to igni-shin, hot and fresh from the kitchen...[/i]
jenloy and i have talked about what will be our thesis topic. just thinking about what our topic's gonna be gives me anxiety. we couldn't even formulate a thesis title. :roll:
currently, i'm browsing around philippineblogawards.com for interesting blogs of fellow pinoys. also, hunting for good layouts. hehe. and, figuring out what i can improve on my blog.
i miss alias and csi. damn telenovelas! :x
signing out :!:
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| .: mindsets: i am imbecile | i wanna go back to high school :. |
| 06.20.04 (6:42 pm) [edit] |
i lost my wallet! tanga, tanga, tanga! i put in my damn pocket and...i don't know what happened next. damn!
i should've been more careful. with the fare increase and all, i should be. fuck talaga! naiinis ako sa sarili ko!
another katangahan: i am researching about atheism on the net because i couldn't find a damn good book about it in the library (hindi lang talaga siguro ako marunong maghanap). but, fuck again, i didn't bring my diskette. good thinking, girl. continue that. :x
cuss. cuss. cuss.
laurence texted me yesterday. he said he's in some resort for their school's orientation and he gave a speech for their theater group. ok. said he was relaxing, unwinding.
shet, pinainggit pa 'ko. well, of course, he didn't mean it. but i was jealous. wherever or whatever resort he's in, i envy the pleasure he experienced that time, which i never did last summer. the beach, the beach, the beach.
i'm tired. i feel like being choked up by my subjects. they make me feel old, rusty. they make me feel that i should be responsible and organized, which i doubt i am. i'm pressured because i couldn't afford to fail this year or else i wouldn't graduate next year. being a senior gives me the creeps.
college makes me feel rusty.
i miss high school.
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| .: Cancerian :. |
| 06.20.04 (5:43 pm) [edit] |
The Cancer Women And Their Characteristics
(selected)
http://www.sajilo.com/horoscope/women/cance rwomen.htm" title="http://www.sajilo.com/horoscope/women/cance rwomen.htm" target="_blank"http://www.sajilo.com/horosco...
PHYSICAL OUTLOOK:
+ You have an oval to round face. The upper body is large and the limbs are slender.
---[i]ano yan, inverted pyramid? ang panget! hindi ganyan ang katawan ko![/i]
+ However , some of you have a tendency to overeat - leading to a prominent abdomen by the early middle age.
---[i]scary! don't overeat...don't overeat...don't overeat...[/i]
+ More often than not,females born this in this particular zodiac sign are not very tall.
---[i]huhuhuhuh... [/i] :cry:
MENTAL ATTITUDE:
+ You have a strong mental ability to carry the masses with you. Cancerian women are good orators and can prove to be excellent teachers, preachers and public speakers. They also possess a good memory.
---[i]i'm not a good public speaker but my memory rarely betrays me. [/i]
+ A deeper understanding of emotions and interest in poetry are common amongst Cancerian women as they are a very emotional person themselves and tend to write poetry at some stage of their life.
---[i]true, true[/i]
GENERAL NATURE:
+ You have a very varied nature, being very timid some times and quite courageous at other . It is also not very easy to judge you or make definitive comments about your personality in one go.
+ Cancerian women are sympathetic ,to the extent of being over sensitive. As a result they get irritated easily.On the positive side you also have some magnetic qualities that help you have increased charisma and greator degree of fame.
---[i] ay, talaga? [/i]
+ Your lord moon also gives you a keen sense of art and writing . Though it sounds quite funny , some of you can also develop psychic powers more easily than your counterparts of other signs.
---[i]woohoo! Lord Moon...i like it![/i]
+ Anger and mushy feelings come to you as quickly but they also make a quick departure as well. This particular trait can make you look very strange or even queer types to the people around you.
---[i]manhid nga ako, eh.[/i]
MONEY:
+ Very few Cancer born natives accumulate wealth in their early years. Being quite easy with their finances, they spend a lot on travelling and to an extent in also showing off their wealth.
---[i] oi, hindi totoo yan! anong showing off their wealth? anong naman ang isho-show off ko wala naman akong wealth?[/i] :roll:
ROMANCE & SEX LIFE:
+ Cancerian women are romantic and passionate by nature . They are very sincere and devoted in thier relationship with the opposite sex but are seldom understood correctly or get an equal reciprocal sincerity.
---[i]ang panget!!! ayoko ng ganyan!!! unfair!!! shit!!![/i] :evil:
MARRIAGE:
+ For you the home is of a great consequence and family life will be very important to you. You will tend to marry early because you prefer settled life and children.
---[i] ano?!? nakakapangilabot naman 'yan! feeling ko nga hindi ako makakapag-asawa! [/i]
LUCKY DAYS, NUMBERS & COLORS:
Lucky days are Monday & Sunday.
Lucky color is hite, Cream, Red and Yellow.
Lucky numbers are 2,7 and 9.
+ HAY NAKU, 'WAG MASYADONG MAGPAPANIWALA SA MGA GANITO...
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| .: blah blah for today ;. |
| 06.15.04 (1:39 am) [edit] |
+ i think i'm gonna like philosophy of religion this semester. :P we'll be discussing atheism first. exciting. :)
and oh, web design! woohoo! 8) :D 8)
+ i watched Van Helsing and Troy. i liked Van Helsing more because there was more action and the presence of vampires made it more appealing. heheheh. i wasn't scared maybe because culturally, vampires as far as i know aren't part of the philippine folklore/myths/legends. i thought it was funny. :D
with Troy, i just liked the battle scenes, the slashings and stuff. but sometimes some battle scenes bore me. the movie didn't appeal to me maybe because i think it was more of a love story. of course, i know it wasn't just a love story but darn, that was what i saw. :roll:
+ i like really, really like Outkast's "hey yeah" and "roses" because i agree with what they are saying there.
...beyonce's a goddess :D
..."noypi" by bamboo is my fave song right now.
...i want Radiohead CDs! :wink:
...header:: that's barbie almalbis, vocalist/guitarist of barbie's cradle, one of my fave bands. 8)
er, that's all folks. ehe.
i'm so boring :roll:
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| .: para kay L. :. |
| 06.07.04 (3:27 pm) [edit] |
wala kang "J" o di kaya'y ang pangalan mo'y hindi nagsisimula sa "J" kaya siguro ganito.
siguro...pero hindi naman lahat ng lalaking may "J" ay type ko. siguro naging trend lang. pero ikaw, ewan. hindi naman sa ayaw ko sa 'yo, wala lang talaga akong maramdaman. :?
inaamin ko, ikaw ang pinakaguwapo sa batch natin; ikaw pa nga ang crush ko. crush nga kita noong mga panahong magkasama tayo. tatlong araw lang 'yun. 'yung "Ganghaan", para sa'yo yun sa totoo lang. kaya lang bumagay na pang-dedication para sa lahat ng fellows kaya hindi na iyon para sa iyo lang. crush kita pero hindi ko maramdamang crush kita. hindi ako kinilig. ay, ewan. basta ganun. :roll:
gusto ko ang mga mata mo. hindi dahil sa type ko ang chinito pero dahil ang mga ito'y mga bituin sa aking paningin; kumikinang, nangungusap. sana nga ang mga ito'y kasama ng aking "silver coin" sa kalangitan.
i didn't feel anything magical between us during those days that we were together. fellows, that's all. yes, we talked. but does talking about where is puan and santo tomas mean something? and you said [i]Silver Coin[/i] is really good. well, thank you. yet, i still couldn't figure out how and why you could say something like "I love you". :question:
naramdaman kong darating ang ganito. naramdaman ko 'yun sa mga text mo. pero, binalewala ko lang. tulad nga ng sinabi mo, nami-miss mo lang ako. tapos 'eto na nga, nanliligaw ka na. :shock:
siguro napaka-idealistic ko sa mga bagay lalung-lalo na tulad nito. ginagamit ko kung ano ang natutunan ko sa philosophy class tungkol sa pagmamahal. argh! hindi pa rin ako komportableng pag-usapan ang bagay na ito. naiilang ako. parang wala pa talaga sa psyche ko ang love-love na 'yan. hindi ko pa masikmura ang sarili ko na pumapasok sa ganyan. pucha, bakit pa kasi, eh. :x
ano ba ang nakita mo sa 'kin, ha? ang sabi ko nga sa sarili ko, duling o bulag lang ang magkakagusto sa akin. kaya ka siguro nagkagusto sa akin kasi chinito ka, maliit ang mga mata mo, hindi mo ako masyadong naaninag kaya akala mo ang ganda-ganda ko. tapos, hindi mo pa ako masyadong kilala. ano ba 'yung tatlong araw ng pagkakakilanlan? hay naku, iba lang talaga siguro ang epekto ng tula ko sa iyo.
tulad ng sinabi ko, hindi naman sa ayoko sa 'yo. dapat pa ngang maging masaya ako kasi may taong nagkagusto sa akin. bumenta rin pala ang beauty ko. ganito kasi, nakondisyon akong walang magkakagusto sa akin, umabot pa nga sa puntong naisip kong hindi ako mag-aasawa. alam mo kasi, ang dami-dami kong insecurities. kahit 'yang pagkakaroon ng boypren o asawa ay 'di ko masikmura. kumukulot at nagkakagulo ang large and small intestines ko sa mga ganyan. :?
atsaka, mind over heart ako sa mga ganyan. ewan ko kung tama ang ganun pero ganun ang psyche ko. nakokornihan kasi ako 'pag pasenti-senti. siguro mas gusto ko 'yung logical at may reason. naniniwala kasi ako na iyang dyaskeng love na 'yan ay isang choice at verb. hindi naman kakayanin kung emosyon lang ang paiiralin sa ganyan, 'no?
'di ba ang sabi ko hindi ako kinikilig? abnormal nga yata ako, eh. sabi ko sa sarili ko, dapat kahit naman papaano, kiligin man lang ako o di kaya'y makaramdam ako ng mga paru-parong sumasayaw sa sikmua ko. pero wala. abnormal nga yata ako. :roll:
kasi hindi ba sabi ko crush kita ng tatlong araw? eh di dapat kahit papaano, kiligin naman ako. kaya lang wala eh. sa tuwing magte-text ka, ang naiisip ko ito'y galing sa isang kaibigan at hindi sa isang manliligaw. gayunpaman, nagpapasalamat ako dahil nag-aabala ka pang magtext sa akin (care of sa tatay mo) kahit sira ang cellphone mo.
at ewan ko ba at hindi ako madala-dala niyang mga pick-up lines mo. nakokornihan ako. 'di ba sinabi ko sa iyo 'yun? na-guilty pa nga ako. ang sama ko talaga. :oops:
may problema kasi ako sa 'yo. sabihin na nating paranoid ako pero may nabasa kasi akong text sa phone mo (pakialamera na kung pakialamera pero hindi ko naman yun sinasadya, nakitext ako sa'yo noon diba...hindi naman kasi ako sanay sa cellphone na gaya sa iyo) na galing sa isang babae at "baby" pa ang tawag niya sa'yo. eh, ano ang gusto mong isipin ko? na nanay mo 'yun?
atsaka, parang ang pangalan lang na babaeng yun ang laman ng inbox mo. kaya naisip ko, special someone mo siya at wala nang pag-asa ang beauty ko sa'yo.
tinanong ko si M. kung kilala ba niya ang babaeng iyon. sabi nya hindi raw pero nababasa raw niya ang mga message nito para sa'yo at baka gf mo 'yun sa cagayan. sabi pa ni M. hindi siya sure kung totohanan iyang panliligaw mo akin kasi may mga "karelasyon" ka pa d'yan sa santo tomas. at eto, iyong bestfriend ni M. dead na dead raw sa'yo. iba ka talaga. :wink:
naisip ko, pucha niloloko mo lang pala ako. tama nga lang siguro na paranoid ako sa'yo kasi sa simula pa lang, may isang bagay na hindi ko matukoy kung ano na naghahadlang sa akin na maniwala sa'yo. sabi ni M. baka isipin ko raw na sinisiraan ka niya sa akin. ang sabi ko naman, okey lang at least alam ko kung ano'ng ginagawa mo. hindi pa naman kita lubusang kilala.
pero naisip ko rin, baka sinabi 'yun sa akin ni M. kasi concerned siya sa akin o di kaya'y para ma-discourage ako sa'yo at magkaroon ng pag-asa yung bestfriend niya. ewan. :roll:
kaya naman gusto kitang makausap ng personal to get things straight. ayoko ko kasing sagutin ka pero niloloko mo lang pala ako at ako'y maging "isa sa kanila". gusto kong siguraduhin na alam mo ang nararamdaman mo, kung love nga yan o ano. okey lang na huminto ka sa panliligaw kapag na-realize mo na hindi pala totoo 'yang nararamdaman mo para sa akin. mas gugustuhin kong maging magkaibigan muna tayo. pagpasensiyahan mo dahil ikaw ang lalaking magtatangkang buksan at pasukin ang nakakandado kong puso. (eew! ang corny...ba't ko ba nasabi 'yan...nandidiri ako...) :shock: gusto ko ring maging honest at sincere ka. kung trip mo ang infidelity, huwag mo 'kong isali sa kalokohan mo. :evil:
ayoko rin na hanggang sa text ka lang manligaw. helloow? hindi yan uubra sa akin. manigas kang pumunta rito. :evil:
melt my heart and sweep me off my feet against all my reasoning. bahala ka kung ano'ng gagawin mo.
for now, listen...
[b]FIREWOMAN[/b]
Hungry Young Poets
the moon's gone down
i know you're still awake
this heart i've found
i didn't intend to break
coz i've seen the world
from down there
and it wasn't a pretty sight
now the circle is turning
are you armed for the fight?
i wanna be a firewoman
i'll water down your desire
coz i know this love is killer
i wanna put out your fire
apology is futility
now destiny is not a friend
not a friend
coz i've seen the world
from down there
and it wasn't a pretty sight
now the circle is turning
are you gonna be all right?
i wanna be a firewoman
i'll water down your desire
coz i know this love is killer
i wanna put out your fire
did you come for danger
you gave me love for pain
now you're much more than a stranger
i wanna give you love
but all i have is rain
i'm gonna be a firewoman
i'll water down your desire
coz i know this love is killer
i wanna put out your fire
i'm gonna put it out (4x)
i wanna be a firewoman (2x)
i'm gonna be a firewoman (2x)
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| .: to my fellows :. |
| 06.07.04 (3:26 pm) [edit] |
[i](to marge, laurence, chris, sir neil ryan, jopet, vanesa, jan, chi, and sir nonoy)[/i]
[b]GANGHAAN[/b]
Pabasaha ko
Sa mga badlis
Sa imong mga mata
Aron masabtan ko
Ang gipamiluk-pilok
Mong balak.
RJ :D
=
the poem that sir don liked. "magical! beautiful!" he said. well, I never thought it is…
SILVER COIN
full, shiny.
tossed up
one night
and never
returned to
rest on
my palm --- waiting.
floats in the sky eternally.
…and the other better poem which didn't create much trouble with sir don.
UNTITLED II
it rains outside,
raindrops tap like
an ancient clock
beside me.
i lie, eyes closed
vague images form
breathing words
they don't own.
i give them voice
speaking lines
from my screenplay
they say
"I love you's" and
"I love you too's";
no rain that washes
away the passion,
no clock that ticks
for the immediacy
of dusk,
and no love that
ends in dreaming
of love.
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| .: straight out from a jungle :. |
| 05.23.04 (1:57 am) [edit] |
not really. i just came back from a writers' workshop at riverford nature park. a park in a mountain with a river below.
learning. laughter. love. misery. mystery. food. darkness. light. cigarettes. voice recorder. green jokes. small world. wide world. putang ina. etc.
got to tell you more ---
next time.
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| .: i will go to the 8th level of hell :. |
| 05.18.04 (12:19 am) [edit] |
The sweet light no longer strikes against your eyes. Your shade has been banished to... the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge! Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
8TH LEVEL OF HELL - THE MALEBOLGE
Many and varied sinners suffer eternally in the multi-leveled Malebolge, an ampitheatre-shapped pit of despair Wholly of stone and of an iron colour: Those guilty of fraudulence and malice; the seducers and pimps, who are whipped by horned demons; the hypocrites, who struggle to walk in lead-lined cloaks; the barraters, who are ducked in boiling pitch by demons known as the Malebranche. The simonists, wedged into stone holes, and whose feet are licked by flames, kick and writhe desperately. The magicians, diviners, fortune tellers, and panderers are all here, as are the thieves. Some wallow in human excrement. Serpents writhe and wrap around men, sometimes fusing into each other. Bodies are torn apart. When you arrive, you will want to put your hands over your ears because of the lamentations of the sinners here, who are afflicted with scabs like leprosy, and lay sick on the ground, furiously scratching their skin off with their nails. Indeed, justice divine doth smite them with its hammer.
:twisted:
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante's Inferno Test
credits to jenai for this test. :)
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| .: i don't want a pain reliever! :. |
| 05.17.04 (2:26 am) [edit] |
i'm supposed to be posting my friends' pics here, specifically my ATENEWS peeps. but there's something wrong with photobucket.com or was it just my diskette? :roll: sayang...
i'm quiet worried with our video documentary. we have only interviewed one source. bad. we still have to get in touch with someone from CIDG. the video's due on thursday and theb showing will be on friday and saturday. i want it to be due on saturday and show it on monday. :wink:
my bro and sis have arrived from Lanao del Sur. i missed them...which was unexpected of me. :twisted:
i have dysmenorrhea. fuckshit. :evil:
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